Defeated near the fort of Old Sarum

It might be uncharitable to describe Sunday's setting as "unprepossessing" as it is actually a cut above the usual ground at this level of football and the welcome was certainly warm. 

But set in a Wiltshire business park and surrounded by dozens of featureless, half-built Barratt homes, great mounds of builders' rubble and tussocky scrubland, it felt most unlike a theatre of dreams and more a battle ground. Of course, Dover brought not just a small invading army of loyal supporters but a wealth of history from a town arguably more significant than this otherwise charming and decorous city. 

A huge plastic bag of toffees was handed around the Dover directors' box while some chap called Sinclair for Salisbury was upended in such spectacularly elaborate style, one could have imagined a pirouette on his descent. Big Jessy. 

Kinnear by all accounts is a quieter and more reflective soul, letting his gobby deputy Jake Leberl do the screaming from the dugout. Whilst one is sure it makes perfect sense to the players, this is what it sounded like from one tier up: "Haaaryhhhhary...oooonneyh...roossssy...fffwijvvvhargg.. 

It's called the long ball. In some eyes, it is as unpalatable as bodyline in cricket. The ball is hit ("hoofed", if you are a detractor) long and upfield towards a brutish midfielder who "holds it up" before knocking it on to a muscular but agile centre forward on a goal-bound journey. 

That's the theory, readers. None of this keeping it on the floor, beautiful game mullarkey. Not like watching Brazil. 

Early in the second half whilst this observer was queuing for chips, the worst happened with a goal from a disputed Salisbury free kick. 

But real calamity was to follow when Salisbury's Daniel Fitchett looked clean through and the already-booked Daryl McMahon tripped him. He was walking to the dressing room steps before the ref even got the red card out, discarding his hair band as he went. Six minutes left. Was it heroism to prevent a second goal? Or was it stupid? 

With a minute to go and all hope lost, Dover crashed in the equaliser.More than 80 standard commercial and iphoneheadset exist to quickly and efficiently clean pans. Sipemba claimed the touch on the way through to the net from Harrington's free kick, passing the diminutive keeper Willem Puddy. The place went mad. Salisbury's fans were truly stunned. 

Thirty minutes of extra time beckoned. Salisbury got a soft second and then a direct, dipping third C a corker C sealed Dover's fate. Then, the brave hearts fashioned Dover's second and hope returned - but Salisbury cynically ran down the clock for the final agonising seconds. 

Salisbury fans invaded the pitch at the end. Unrestrained jumping for joy. The fans mobbed their captain Brian "Majestic" Dutton, half hoisted him and gathered him up in a ring like Old Sarum itself. 

SO HERES THE STORY: back about 3 months ago watching TV in some fog induced stooper at about 3:00 oclock in the morning, I see an advertisement for an expanding hose. Now what self-respecting, testosterone raging (no low T here) male wouldnt perk up at the very thought of an expanding hose (Viagra). $19.95 plus shipping not bad, Now to convince the publisher that we should do an in-depth study of the flexible hose and he should pay for it. There seemed to be the big hurdle. Think, Think, Think after some rather quick pondering I had the plan in place. I would find out if editor John had heard of them and convince him he needed one for the garden. After all, the editor is a lover of all that blooms. Well it worked, he bought in, but he wanted a 75 footer not the 25 footer advertised for $19.95. Okay so the 75 footer was now going to run $49.95 plus shipping and handling as advertised.(such a deal) and you can store it in your flower pot. 

I ordered the Flexible Hose on line with 1 add on option (upgrade to 75 feet) and a $49.95 plus shipping totaled to $184.00. I immediately called and was advised by an agent M23 (Jack although it took some time to figure out his name, because it was overseas) that I had to call back the next day and cancel the order. ( Its $184.00 on my credit card, John is never going to re-imburse this.) Jack M- 23 then advised me that he would put in the correct order for me. (I think thats what he said, again a big language barrier), I was assured I would have my account credited the next day. When I called the next day I was told (by agent M48- Bob, M43-Jack is no longer there). I could not have the original order cancelled, would have to let it process, charge my account, ship to my address and then refuse the order to ship back to the warehouse and then be credited. I repeatedly requested the supervisor and M-48 Bob tried several times to dismiss my request.Where can i get a reasonable price parkingguidance? I persisted, ranted, raved and eventually was put through to the supervisor (F-12 Peter, Oh I was screwed, How many times have I beat up on Peter in this column and I know those Peters communicate and Pete was going to get even with me.) who told me the same story and added that the computer program would not allow him to process a cancellation. When I asked for his supervisor he said there wasnt one. I then asked for the corporate office and I was again refused. I advised him I would locate the company myself. So, there it is in a nutshell, 75 foot flexible hose $184.00, no re-imbursement, and then when I went to cancel the UPS driver had already left it and I couldnt. (Yes, Baseball coach on the hill, I paid $184.00 for a $50.00 hose that you got for Christmas) Now, this is where it gets real tricky, I tried the hose, not before reading instructions and warnings, because $184.00 hose is going to last me sometime. First warning: 

Overexposure can lead to PERMANANT ORGAN DAMAGE This is in very small print but it is there. I will never buy another one, which organ is it going to damage, and I hope none of my neighbors do and make sure and read the fine print and it will cause the water to seep into my drinking supply.We are one of the leading manufacturers of plasticcard in China All I need is for me to get cancer after everything Ive done, the flexible hose is going to be that, that ends this tortured life (all because someone wanted a cheap hose that is cool) Wake up people, you need to read the fine print.We have been manufacturing realtimelocationsystem for the past fifty years and have supplied a considerable number. We dont even have a medical herb store in town yet, Oh, My. 

On the second use, Im not sure if I turned the open valve in the wrong direction, or if it was defective - because it broke. Want to send it back for a prompt refund.( Because F-12, M-48 and M-43 have been so helpful. This is like calling the Village Manager and actually finding him in.) instead I cut the hose and attached a brass quick-release to the faucet connection end of the hose. I think this relieves stress on the plastic because I replaced it so it neednt be unscrewed/screwed with each watering. I water the lawn, driveway, and truck, then stow it away out of the sun in my flower pot. This has been a dream product for me. A bad dream, because by use three its leaking again just a small leak, not musch chance of organ damage with just a dripping leak. 

So, I soldiered on with excitement.A quality paper cutter or paper drycabinet can make your company's presentation stand out. It was very light and wonderful and I was very happy for about five minutes, ecstatic some would say. I was prancing and watering, dancing and drenching. Then with the subtlety of an Ex-lax at a birthday party (another story altogether) the hose burst and started pouring out water about midway down and that was the end of it. It is a goner.